About Me

Hi There,


My name is Lydia.
I'm married to a great guy named Blake.
I have two super adorable little girls.
On the blog I call them Jasmine (Born 2010) & Ruby (Born 2012).

I'm new to this motherhood business.
I'm new to this kid-stuff business.
(My kids are the first kids I've ever really spent time with.)
So I kinda think I might not have many (err any?) kid skills.(I especially start feeling this way, if I spend more than 5 mins on Pinterest.)
But I'm trying to make it work.

We currently (since Feb 2012) live 4 to 6 hours away from Family (depending on who's parents we are talkin) in a 700 sq ft duplex we rent in the middle of central Iowa (yes, it is as exciting as it sounds). That is until January when we get to move back to Central Illinois (which I feel is way more exciting than it sounds), as my husband starts his new job at the start of the new year (2014)! We CAN'T wait!
But for now the distance is really hard on me.
But I'm trying to make it work while we are waiting.

My oldest has a lot of food allergies. Including (but not limited to) Dairy, Peanuts, and all the other nuts.
My youngest has (just) the dairy allergy too. (Well and egg yokes, but who cares? We already don't do the whole egg with Jasmine.)
I still feel really new to cooking and all that stuff. I'm totally new to picky kid eating ways (well at least the ways of my oldest -- sooo particular! My youngest eats anything in front of her!). So adding in all the complications of our food limitations often pushes me harder than I feel like I can handle. I usually don't know if I should ask her to eat the foods she's refusing -- because I don't know if she's refusing based on pickiness, or instinctual life preserving aversions. (She refused peanut butter before we knew she was allergic to it and our allergist told us that's a built in defense.)  So meal time is often a testing of myself. (And I get really irritated that its such a often reoccurring part of existence.) I get really burnt out on food talk -- and with existence of the internet I feel like its always hovering all over my eye-ears. Palo, vegan, organic, picky eater kid books, bla bla bla -- we don't fit a single mold there is (one ingredient in the mix or another, tends to be something we can't eat) and I have to try and be ok with constantly being the odd ball with no food guidance. (Both physically and emotionally) But I'm trying to make it work.

Currently I feel pretty overwhelmed on a regular basis.
I am hovering on the edge of a huge life change (moving back to Illinois in January.) So its hard to function here in the mean time.
I don't get out of the house much. (I haven't found a baby sitter because I don't know how to trust people with food -- this is both a real problem as well as a bit of just plain old mommy nerves. But seriously, there is milk in taco meat seasoning -- people without food allergies just don't know to look the way I do.) (We also can't take our kids out for Pizza or Icecream or over to friends for PBJs.)
And therefore I don't get much grown up time.
I'm an introvert and I don't get down time, alone, to decompress anywhere near as much as I should for mental clarity and calm.
I also don't get much sleep. It seems like there is always some reason I'm missing out. And the really rough part is our current place is so small if one cries, the other usually wakes up too. Colds, flus, asthma, teething, bloody noses, grown up time projects keeping me out of bed....
I still nurse way more than many people think is normal, mainly because of the fact that I know dairy isn't in the diet and I feel compelled to do my best in the midst of that. (But that all adds up to less sleep for me and less time for me.)
Blake and I talk about having more kid(s?) and I often question my abilities in regards to that when facing the level of strain I usually feel currently.
But I feel like there are little people I love already even if they aren't here yet. So I want to make it work.

I love my life even if often I feel like I hate parts of it.
So forgive me as I work it out.

I love my family with my entire heart.
Its just my heart often feels so tired.
I know you feel me mommas.
This job is so much harder than it looks!